


Hobbit drabbles

by Lookatallmyships



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cats, Drabbles, Dwori - Freeform, Fiki, Fluff, Gloin is a good dad, Hobbits are strong, Humor, Legimli - Freeform, M/M, Pining, Pre-Slash, Thorinduil - Freeform, bagginshield, canon!verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-01-15 02:10:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 9,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18489136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lookatallmyships/pseuds/Lookatallmyships
Summary: 20 Hobbit drabbles of various pairings, each based off one word.





	1. Birth-Bagginshield

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, this has been a long time coming. I wanted to finish all 20 before I started posting chapters, because I am not the most disciplined writer. I found a list of 100 prompt words on tumblr (these are the first 20), but now I have no idea who posted them. If you know, then link me and I'll give credit.

"If you don't stop pacing, you're going to going to wear a path into the floor."

Bilbo looks up at Thorin and glares. "If Erebor's stone floors can be so easily broken down by a Hobbit walking on them, then we have bigger problems."

Thorin rubs a hand over his beard, to hide the smile that steals across his face.

Bilbo sniffs haughtily. "I don't know how you can be so calm at a time like this. What if something goes wrong?"

Thorin leans back in his chair with a sigh, following Bilbo's back and forth path across the room with his eyes. "Oin has assisted in many births in the past. I have no doubt that he will see this one goes just as smoothly."

Bilbo pauses his pacing, coming to a stop in front of Thorin. "Yes, right. Tell me- Exactly how many of those births involved Dwarrowdams?" 

Thorin shifts in his chair under Bilbo's unwavering gaze. "Well, there was one human lass that we ran into on the road. She went into an unexpectedly early labor-"

Bilbo pokes Thorin in the chest. "That's wonderful and all, but still a far-cry from midwifing for a cat." With that, Bilbo resumes his pacing.

Thorin sighs. "I still don't understand how that cat survived living in the ruins of Erebor. How it didn't get eaten by Smaug, I've no idea." Thorin just barely catches Bilbo rolling his eyes, as he turns away to begin his circuit once more.

"I'm sure Eleanor was smart enough to keep well away from the treasury, -not that she would make much of a meal for a dragon, anyway."

"All I'm saying is that it's a miracle it managed to find enough food to survive, let alone had the chance to become with child." 

They're suddenly interrupted by a sharp knock on the door, and Bilbo rushes to open it.

Oin nods at the two of them. "The mother is recovering with her kittens, if you'd like to meet them." He pats Bilbo on the shoulder, and then retreats back towards the makeshift healing quarters. He calls back over his shoulder. "Oh, and you'd best start preparing living arrangements for them all. She had a litter of nine."

Thorin swears he feels his heart skip a beat. "Nine? How is that possible? To have so many at once?"

"Maybe she's more Hobbit-like than I realized" Bilbo says with a shrug, and goes to chase after Oin.

Thorin shakes his head in disbelief. How are they going to keep nine kittens from wandering off into the city and getting themselves crushed by falling rubble or- even a particularly heavy stray shield? Maybe he can borrow Kili for a few months, until the restoration really gets underway. Give him a new title... 'Cat Wrangler'. Thorin takes a deep breath. On second thought, he better take Fili as well. Surely this will be too big a job for one dwarf. They can fight over who gets to be Head Cat Wrangler, and who gets to be Assistant Cat Wrangler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Later, Thorin will remember Bilbo's remark about Hobbits and go 'wait... WHAT?'


	2. Enthusiasm-Dwori

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this once doesn't really go anywhere, but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯.
> 
> Also it connects with chapter one, but that won't be the rule for most of these.

Dwalin lounges in front of the fire, reading a book while he waits for Ori to get home. Ori and his brothers had decided to brave the snow and go down to the market while Dwalin elected to stay home with a book Bilbo had recently lent to him. He'd said he thought Dwalin might like it, and in all truth, it's not half bad. Even if the hero of the story boasts about his accomplishments a bit more that Dwalin cares for. It's certainly better than going out in the cold, anyway. Ask anyone, and they'll tell you that Winter and Dwalin have never gotten along.

The door creaks open slowly, and Dwalin looks up and sees Ori gingerly backing his way into the room, so as not to unbalance the stack of wooden crates in his arms. He jumps up to take the heavy boxes, and Ori smiles gratefully at him. 

Ori starts shucking off the boots and some of his heavier knit-wear and Dwalin smiles when he gets tangled in his oversized sweater for a few moments, before finally managing to free himself and pull it over his head.

"Did you have a good time at the market?"

Ori beams. "It was so beautiful outside! Everything looked so pretty, covered in a fresh layer of snow like that. I want to go out tomorrow morning, and sketch some of the pine trees by the training field." He starts poking through the crates of stuff, and sets aside some non-perishable food items he'd picked up, to be put away in the cupboards. "I found this Dwarrowdam's booth, who was selling some of the most beautiful leather-bound sketchbooks, and Nori convinced me to buy one. It was perfect timing, too. I've almost filled mine with all my drawings of Eleanor and her kittens."

Dwalin smiles. Ori had been so excited for the chance to practice figure drawing for cats, and he's been documenting each stage of their development so far. Dwalin suspects that soon enough, he'll be coming home to find that one of the kittens has taken up residence in their quarters. 

He sits down at the table, and watches Ori excitedly gesture with his hands as he sorts through the items he'd bought.

"After that, we stopped by Master Narvi's shop, and picked up some new daggers for Nori." Ori turns his head, to smile wryly at Dwalin. "Dori pretended not to notice, and conveniently became distracted by the seller next door."

Dwalin snickers. "At least he seems to have lightened up a bit, now that Nori has an official title to go with his sneaking around."

Ori's eyes widen suddenly, and he starts digging through his stuff. "Speaking of people who sneak around, we ran into Bilbo while we were out, and he gave me something to deliver to you." Ori thrusts something wrapped up in wax paper at Dwalin.

He carefully opens the package, and then groans appreciatively. Inside, is a batch of Bilbo's famous almond cookies. He bites into one, and then shakes his head. "Thorin is a lucky man."

"Should I be worried about you deciding to chase after Bilbo?" Ori teases. 

Dwalin snorts. "I'm happy right here, thank you. Thorin can keep his Hobbit."

"That's good. I'd rather not have to watch you and Thorin get into a fight over Bilbo's honor." He side-eyes Dwalin, amusement plain on his face. "I'm not certain, who would win."

Dwalin laughs loudly. "Please, I could take our besotted king. Luckily it will never come to that, because I am not attracted to the Hobbit, and I already have my gorgeous One right here." He grabs Ori by the wrist, and pulls him against his side so he can wrap an arm around his waist.

Ori snickers. "You're just saying that, because I don't mind running errands for you when it's cold out." He freezes for a moment, and then gasps. "Oh! I almost forgot! I got you a pair of gloves, for when you do have to go out in the cold. I was just going to make you a pair myself, but then I saw these, and I thought they would be perfect for you. They're fingerless, so they won't hinder your ability to hold onto things or open doors -I know that bugs you, and I thought this was just the perfect shade of blue for you."

Ori keeps explaining why he thought the gloves would suit him, and Dwalin smiles softly. It truly is laughable to think Dwalin would ever chase after anyone else, when he already has such a thoughtful, full of life husband to come home to every day.


	3. Love-Bagginshield

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Modern!au

Bilbo stirs when he feels the bed shift beside him, and he looks up to see Thorin standing beside their bed.

Thorin smiles apologetically, and bends down so he can brush Bilbo's hair out of his eyes. "I'm sorry I woke you."

Bilbo hums sleepily. "S'alright." He clears his throat in an attempt to dispel some of the sleep-scratchiness from his voice. "How late are you working today?"

"I have a couple meetings, but I'll be home by dinner time- I promise." Thorin rolls his eyes. "Even if I have to cause a diversion to escape Balin and his paperwork."

Bilbo smiles. "Alright, love you."

Thorin stands back up, smiling softly. "I love you too. Go back to sleep."

Bilbo nuzzles his face deeper into his pillow and watches as Thorin gathers his work clothes, before softly shutting the bedroom door behind him.

He listens as Thorin's footsteps retreat down the hallway, much lighter than his usual confident stride.

The bathroom door snikts open, and then Bilbo can hear Thorin curse softly when it bangs shut a little louder than he intended.

The sound of the shower curtain rings dragging across the bar and then the water turning on reaches the bedroom a couple moments later.

Bilbo closes his eyes with a smile, when Thorin starts singing softly from the shower.

Some day he's going to marry this man.


	4. Hate-Fili/Kili

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Modern au

Fili's dials the phone, and it only rings twice before picking up. Kili has the nerve to sound completely casual when he answers. It's only because Fili has known him for so long, that he can hear the laughter being concealed in his voice.

"Hello?"

"I fucking hate you."

Kili inhales sharply, as if surprised. "What? Why? What did I do?"

Fili glares at no one, annoyed that his brother isn't in the room with him to feel the full force of his ire. "You know very well, what you did."

Kili makes a confused noise and then Fili hears a muffled scratchy sound, as if Kili was covering the phone. A few seconds go by before he speaks again. "Fili, what do you mean?"

"You knew I had a meeting today, Kili. You knew that Thorin was making me present before the board members today."

At this point, Kili isn't even attempting to hide his amusement. "Uh huh" he says, with a strained tone in his voice.

"And YET. You still chose today, to sew 'Property of Kili Durinson' into the back of my best formal tunic."

Kili laughs out loud, not an ounce of shame in his voice. "Well. Technically I embroidered it, and I did it a week ago. I wouldn't have had time to-"

"Kili! I turned to face the projector, and the entire council started laughing! It took me five minutes to get anyone to explain what was so funny, and even then it was only because Ori took pity on me!"

Kili starts laughing harder, struggling to control himself. "Did you still finish the meeting?" he forces out in between guffaws.

"You bet your ass, I did. Those council members had no idea what hit them. I goddamn nailed that presentation."

"Does Thorin know?"

Fili hums, and looks up at the darkness surrounding him. "I'd imagine someone's told him by now, but I don't really know. I'm currently hiding in a closet."

Kili laughs in surprise. "Well if Thorin doesn't kill you, I'll-"

Kili doesn't get to finish his sentence, because suddenly the sound of a door opening can be heard, and the line goes dead.


	5. Triumph-Dwalin/Bofur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Modern au.

Breathing heavily, Dwalin and Bofur trek their way up the stairs. 

"Remind me why I'm helping you move your obscenely heavy shit?"

Bofur's grip on the bottom half of the couch slips, and he just barely manages to catch it before it falls. "Because you're my big strong boyfriend, and you love me?"

Dwalin grumbles, struggling not to drop his own end of the heavy furniture in response to Bofur's jostling, and nods to let him know he's ready continue their ascent. "That still doesn't explain why I agreed, though. I didn't help Nori when he and Bilbo finally got a place."

"Because you're sick of each of our respective brothers almost walking in on us, and with our own place, we won't have to worry about it?" 

Dwalin snorts. "Balin still won't stop asking why he hasn't seen you around the house in a while."

Bofur grimaces. "I'd just as soon not be reminded of the time your brother walked in and saw my bare ass, thanks." Dwalin chortles, and Bofur rolls his eyes. "Yes, yes. I'm sure it was hilarious from your hiding spot in the closet."

They make it up to the fourth floor and after a bit of creative tilting and pushing to get it to fit through the door, they finally manage to get the couch inside the apartment.

Dwalin collapses onto it in relief, and Bofur just sprawls out on his back on the bare floor.

"Thank god" Dwalin sighs. "I really didn't think it was going to make it around that last corner." 

A tired groan comes from the floor. "I'm going to have bruises tomorrow, I can already tell." He wiggles around until he's facing Dwalin. "Will you kiss them better?" He grins, eyebrows dancing suggestively.

He gets a snort in response. "You just had to have the big couch, you couldn't settle for something more reasonable. After what we just went through- you can bet your ass, we are utilising this god damn thing to it's full potential. Just give me five minutes to stop feeling my heartbeat in my throat."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not so sure about this one, but it's the best I could come up with. I also added a throwaway line about Nori and Bilbo just because I can.


	6. Feel-Nori/Bilbo

The sun has long since gone down, and the only ones still awake are Dwalin and Bilbo. The former, only because it's his turn to keep watch. The rest of the dwarves are scattered around the camp asleep- as is evident by the varied intensities of snoring coming from their bedrolls. Bilbo knows he should be asleep too, but his thoughts don't seem to see fit to allow him any rest tonight.

"You should tell him how you feel."

Bilbo jumps in fright, nearly dropping the shirt he'd been mending for Kili. "Sweet Yavanna, Ori, don't do that!"

Ori has the decency to look embarrassed, but the set of his brow is no less determined as he sinks down to sit beside Bilbo by the fire. By now, it's died down enough that only the still glowing embers remain. "I mean it, you know."

Bilbo sniffs, and inspects the stitching he's already finished. All he has left to fix, is one of the sleeves where the archer had managed to snag it on a branch while drawing back an arrow. "I don't believe I know what you mean." After a couple moments of silence, Bilbo chances a glance up at the dwarf. He winces at the dry look being directed at him. It's so very Dori, that Bilbo doesn't know if he should be impressed or scared to see it on Ori's face. 

"I don't think that would be a very good idea." Bilbo smiles wryly. "I don't fancy being laughed at, or- at best- awkwardly avoided for the rest of the journey."

Ori sighs. "I'd dare say that after all these years, I know my brother a bit better than you, Mister Bilbo. So believe me, when I say that's the last thing that would happen."

Bilbo sighs. "Thank you Ori, but I've never been one to force my affections in a direction where they are unwanted. It just wouldn't do to make someone else uncomfortable, simply out of blind stubbornness."

Ori smiles sadly, and stands up. "Just think about it. I'm going to relieve Dwalin on watch, you should get some sleep."

Bilbo considers finishing his sewing project before turning in, but as he watches Ori's retreating back, he decides to leave it for the morning. Perhaps he will try to get some sleep, and leave the precision work for a time when his mind is less scattered. As he packs up his supplies and prepares to bed down for the night, he doesn't notice a shock of red hair slip out from the tree line.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nori/Bilbo is amazing and one day I will write a longer fic for them.


	7. Wrecked-Bilbo&Fili&Kili (Background Bagginshield)

Bilbo trudges back into the mountain, dirty but happy. It had taken all morning and part of the afternoon, but the little patch of earth he'd claimed for himself, is finally all tilled and ready for planting. 

Bilbo is making his way down to the baths, when he runs into Thorin.

As soon as he sees Bilbo coming towards him, Thorin's face brightens. "There you are, I was wondering where you'd stolen away to."

"I've been outside working in the garden, since this morning. All I have to do now, is decide what I want to plant." 

Thorin looks far prouder of him than he has any reason to, and Bilbo's feels his face flush. 

"Well I'm sure whatever you decide on, it will look amazing."

 

* * *

 

The king and his consort are smiling bessotedly at each other, when Balin happens upon them. "Thorin, Bilbo." he nods at them both politely, and then turns to address the king. "This afternoon, you and the lads have a meeting to discuss trade contracts with King Thranduil and King Bard, don't forget."

Thorin waits until Balin isn't looking, and then rolls his eyes at Bilbo.

Bilbo clears his throat in effort to hold back the laughter that wants to bubble up. "Where are your nephews, anyway? No doubt, they made themselves scarce the moment they remembered what day it is."

Thorin looks at Bilbo with a hopeful expression of his face, and Bilbo frowns.

"...What?" Another couple moments of silence go by, and then Bilbo gasps. "Oh, no! I refuse to hunt your nephews down again. Last time it turned out they had sequestered themselves away into the mines. Do you have any idea how long I wandered around this mountain, searching for them?"

Thorin gives Bilbo a pleading look. "I have a pile of paperwork to prepare for this trade meeting. Besides, Bofur is down at the mines today, and he said he'd send word if Fili or Kili were spotted anywhere in the vicinity."

Bilbo sighs. "Fine." He jabs a finger into the king's chest. "But you have to come with me to the market when I go buy seeds."

Thorin beams. "Done." He leans down and kisses him on the cheek. "You're my favorite person in the whole mountain, have I ever told you that?"

"Mmhm, a time or two. Mostly when I'm doing you a favor." Bilbo sighs, but even he can hear the unmistakable tone of affection in his voice. "Go get your work done, I'll find your nephews."

Bilbo looks around as Thorin walks away, amused when he doesn't see anyone. Apparently Balin had taken his opportunity, and disappeared before he could be pulled into the search party. Not that Bilbo can blame him.

 

* * *

 

He checks the kitchens first (the most common place to find the princes), and when that fails, he check the baths, the training grounds, and the treasury, all with no luck. The last place he looks is Fili and Kili's rooms, and he's surprised to hear muffled thumps and banging coming from inside. 

Bilbo tests the door, finds it's unlocked, and then swings it open.

And freezes in astonishment.

The room is wrecked. It looks like a fresh blanket of snow has fallen indoors. Every surface is covered in a thick layer of downy white feathers.

Bilbo looks at the two dwarves standing in the middle of the room, and takes in their disheveled appearance. Red faced, clothing rumpled, and hair a mess. "Did you two slaughter a flock of chickens?"

Kili shrugs. "Geese, actually, but we weren't the ones who did it."

Fili smacks him with the pillow in his hands, and Kili yelps, rubbing his arm. 

"Hey! Unfair shot!"

Fili grins. "Do you have pillow fights in the Shire?" 

"Yes we have pillow fights." Bilbo rolls his eyes. "Though no faunt would dare use their parent's good feather pillows."

Kili shrugs. "They were old and already starting to fall apart."

Bilbo somehow doubts that, but he decides not to argue. "Don't forget, you two are supposed to attend a meeting this afternoon to discuss trade between Erebor, Mirkwood, and Dale."

Both Durin's look of disgust are practically a mirror image of one another's, and they slowly turn to look at each other.

Before Bilbo can react, -possibly by backing away slowly and then running as far away as possible, as is often the smartest course to take when it comes to these two- a pillow comes flying through the air and smacks him in the face. An explosion of feathers explodes out on impact, and Bilbo glares at the two dwarves.

He spits out a single downy feather without breaking eye contact, and then holds out one hand. "Give me a pillow. You two are going regret that."

 

* * *

 

Fifteen minutes before the meeting is supposed to start, Thorin makes a beeline for Fili and Kili's rooms. Bilbo still isn't back yet, and Thorin swears that if his nephews have once again tried to coerce Bilbo into taking part in their tricks, he's going to be found guilty of Nepoticide in the very near future.

Thorin approaches the door, and he's surprised to hear -laughter? Coming from three people, rather than two.

He opens the door cautiously, and his heart warms at the scene before him. His nephews and his one, red faced and laughing, dashing around the room holding pillows. 

Kili executes an impressive tuck and roll out of the path of an incoming projectile, and than grabs another off the floor to fire back.

Bilbo is crouched beside the bed. His golden curls are disheveled and have clearly been raked back out of his eyes more than a few times.

Thorin grins at the sight.

Maybe the meeting can be delayed just a little while...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one found up sorta long for some reason? But I love I love fluffy interactions between Bilbo and Thorin's nephews.


	8. Soft-Bifur/Ori

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like this one.

Ori looks around the barn. Ability to turn into a terrifying giant bear notwithstanding, he's thankful that Beorn had agreed to let them sleep here. It's the most shelter they've had, in what feels like forever. Sure they've been sleeping in caves when the opportunity arises, but it's a nice respite to sleep surrounded by four walls and a roof for once.

The dwarves are scattered around. Some already bedded down for the night, and others taking stock and re-packing their belongings. His eyes fall on Bifur, and he frowns. The older dwarf is in the process of trying to sort out the tangles and snarls in his hair enough to be able to braid it, with obvious difficulty. No doubt he's as tired as the rest of them. Ori's own hair is a bit of a mess from being on the road, and his is much shorter than Bifur's.

Decision made, and hoping he's not making a fool of himself, Ori goes over to sit beside Bifur. "Good evening, Mister Bifur."

Bifur looks up and nods in greeting at Ori, before continuing to work at a knot in his beard.

Ori ducks his head and fiddles with his gloves, counting the rows of stitches that make up the knitwear. It's a nervous habit that he's had for as long as he can remember, and despite Nori's teasing, still can't seem to break. "I could help you with your hair, if you want. I've gotten pretty good at sorting out Nori's."

Bifur looks up at him in surprise, and Ori is certain he's about to be rebuked. After a few moments of silence in which Ori starts planning a tactical and very apologetic retreat, Bifur maneuvers himself around on the floor until he's seated with his back facing Ori.

Ori pulls out the comb he'd brought with him on the off chance Bifur would take him up on his offer, and shifts up onto his knees so he can better reach the top of Bifur's head. He hadn't really payed much attention before, but Bifur is a fair bit taller than he is. After a moment of hesitation, (What is he doing, being so bold? And why had Bifur said yes?) Ori starts by running his fingers through Bifur's hair. He's so entranced by the feeling, he has to remind himself to actually start working on the tangles. How Bifur's hair can be so soft after weeks on the road, Ori has no idea.

He works in silence, untangling one section of hair and then moving onto the next. Finally he has it all smoothed out, and he hums as a way of breaking the silence before speaking. "Alright, you're all set." He considers offering to braid Bifur's beard, and remake the few small braids he wear in his hair, but Ori doesn't. Tending to another's hair is enough of an intimate act in itself, it'd be best not to push it.

Bifur turns to face Ori and rumbles a thank you in Khuzdul. 

Ori makes to get up, but to his surprise, Bifur reaches out and cups Ori's face before gently bumping their foreheads together. He pulls away with a rare smile on his face, and then starts setting out his bedroll and furs for the night. 

He returns to his own bed beside Dori and Nori, and then looks over at Bifur who's now laying down. No doubt he'll have his hair all braided again first thing in the morning, but for the moment, Ori enjoys seeing his hair loose and splayed around his head in a sort of halo.

Maybe next time he'll have the nerve to ask Bifur to let him braid it himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adam Brown is only like two and a half inches shorter than William Kircher, but fuck it. Embrace the fiction I have created to suit my purposes.
> 
> Also I have no goddamn idea of how much time passes between specific events in the timeline. Send help.


	9. Cold-Dwalin/Bilbo

Bilbo shivers, and inches towards the fire a little more. 'If I get any closer, I won't have to worry about the dragon's fire anymore' Bilbo thinks sardonically.

He wraps his coat a little tighter around himself, and sighs. The fire is certainly better than nothing, but the sun has long since gone down and it's been getting colder and colder at night. Of course the dwarves seem unaffected... thick skinned bastards. They're all either in the process of bedding down for the night, or in Balin and Dori's case, re-distributing the company's collective belongings more evenly among the remaining packs. Bilbo doesn't realize anyone has noticed he's still awake, until he suddenly hears heavy footsteps approaching from behind him.

Dwalin steps into view of the Hobbit, and stares down at him.

Bilbo fidgets nervously under the warrior's gaze, then watches in confusion as Dwalin shrugs off his cloak and holds it out to him.

"Here. Watching you shiver is making me cold."

Bilbo decides not to comment on that logic, and instead shakes his head in protest. "Oh, master Dwalin, I couldn't possibly. I can't let you freeze-"

"We Dwarves are made of sterner stuff, I barely even feel a chill." When the resistant look on Bilbo's face doesn't change, Dwalin simply shrugs and drops down to sit beside him. "Fine, I guess we'll just have to share it then."

Bilbo startles a little when Dwalin drapes his cloak over the both of their shoulder, and clasps it shut in front of them. Almost instantly, he starts to feels warmer. Bilbo doesn't know if it's a Dwarf thing, or just a Dwalin thing, but he can practically feel the heat radiating off of him. He glances over just in time to catch Dwalin watching him.

The Dwarf blushes, and quickly looks away.

Bilbo blinks. Huh. Well, what do you know. He smiles, and shifts over until there's a little less space between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo's opening thought probably isn't in character, but I didn't want to cut it. Au where Bilbo has a more morbid sense of humor.
> 
> Ok. I'm editing this write now as a write these notes, and I just realized that I really seem to like the phrase 'bedding down for the night'.


	10. Without-Bagginshield

_Thorin's majestic brow furrows with emotion, as he drops down onto his knees. "Bilbo, my love. Please make me the happiest Dwarf in Middle Earth, by staying and living with me in the mountain." He clasps his rough hands together, and bows his majestic head. "For how could I ever live without you, now that I have known your love?"_

 

_Bilbo sighs, swooning at the display before him. "Of course I'll stay with you. I never knew what I was missing in my life- nay, I never knew there even was something missing in my life- until I met you. But now that I've felt your love, how could I have ever existed before, without it?" He to collapses onto his knees, kneeling before the Dwarf King, and they meet in a sweet embrace of lips._   
  


 

Thorin lowers the stack of papers, an inscrutable look on his face.

Twelve pages. Twelve full pages of this swill. Thorin doesn't have any proof, but he knows who the author (or rather authors) is. He's had to sit through far too many of his nephew's classes with Balin, to not recognize their writing habits.

The slightly stylized o's, yet otherwise messy script: Kili's handwriting.

The copious use of adjectives, to the point of sounding like Elvish poetry: A bad habit of Fili's- no doubt dictating the story to his brother.

When he gets his hands on his nephews, he's going to kill them.

Thorin glances down at the papers in his hand, and glances around the room before folding them and concealing them within the inside pocket of his cloak.

No reason to leave behind the offending material for someone else to get their hands on...


	11. Inspiration-Fili/Frodo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had no goddamn idea what to write for this word for the longest time, and then this crawled out of my brain. Fair warning, Frodo is only talked about. He doesn't actually appear.

Fili stares at the canvas, and sighs. Maybe it's not too late to scrap this painting and start over.

-

Kili is lounging on the couch with a cup of tea and a book, when his phone starts buzzing and a facetime request pops up on the screen. He sets down his book, and accepts the call. It takes a moment to connect, but once it does, Kili only needs to take one look at the expression on his brother's face, to know they're in crisis mode. He sighs. "What happened now? I thought you were staying in tonight and working on homework for your art class."

"I am. The problem is that every time I try to re-do my painting, I just can't find the inspiration."

Kili frowns. "Re-do? What's wrong with whatever you have now?"

The phone turns around to show an easel set up in his living room. Propped up on it, is what looks to be an abstract- or at least Kili thinks it is. There's a reason he elected to stay far, far away from any art classes, unlike his brother. The painting is a mix of silver and blue swirls, with some hints of deep green and light purple here and there.

"Fili, that's awesome! Why can't you just turn that one in?"

The picture on the screen blurs with motion for a moment, and then Kili sees him drop face down onto his couch with a sigh, the arm holding the phone propped up by his elbow. "The assignment was to paint an abstract inspired by someone who we admire."

Kili nods slowly, beginning to get a suspicion of what Fili's panic is about. "Ok. Who did you base the painting on?" He asks the back of Fili's head.

Fili rubs his face side to side against the couch a couple time before answering. "You know that Barista who I have a huge crush on?"

Kili nods. It would be pretty hard to forget, since Fili is constantly calling or texting him to moon over the guy after a sighting at his shop. Fili had actually found out on his third trip to the little cafe that his name is Frodo, but they were both in unspoken agreement that it would be weird to refer to him by his name when neither of them had ever even spoken to the man. The hilarious part, is that before barista guy, Fili always preferred to make his coffee at home.

"Well it turns out he's the nephew of my art professor."

Kili raises his eyebrows. "Wow, what are the odds? How did you find that out?"

"Yesterday I was at the cafe, and Professor Baggins walked in. He and Frodo talked for a few minutes before he left again, and I heard Frodo call him 'Uncle Bilbo'."

"Why is that a problem, though? It's not like you painted a portrait of him."

Fili lifts his head up from the couch and looks at Kili pitifully. He's truly a sad sight, with his hair a mess and indents pressed into his face by the fabric of the couch. "For the second half of the assignment, we have to write up a page on who the painting was inspired by and why we admire them."

He honestly tries not to, but Kili can't help the laugh that bubbles up from his chest. "What are you going to do?"

Fili sighs. "Show up to class without anything to turn in, and hope this doesn't totally tank my grade?"

Kili snickers. "You care about your perfect grades too much to do that, and we both know it. You could always say it was inspired by your professor... It wouldn't be that big of a stretch. He and Frodo are related, so they must be somewhat similar to each other."

Fili glares at the Kili.

"Alright, then." Fili grins. "Can I be there to watch when you wax poetic to your professor about his nephew?"

"I hate you. This is why I always call Uncle Dwalin for help."

The facetime call abruptly ends, and Kili's laughter lasts for a long time.


	12. You-Thorinduil

Tauriel strides down the hall towards her King's rooms. She's loath to disturb him, but she just received word from a couple scouts that a certain wandering grey wizard had been spotted making his way through their lands. 

She's about to knock on the door, but hesitates when she hears raised voices.

_"How dare you? How **dare** you?"_

That was her King's voice. She shifts uneasily. Has something happened? As far as she knew, the Elvenking was simply been enjoying a quiet evening with King Thorin. 

_"I don't see what is such a big deal..."_ A second voice says flatly, as if trying not to allow any emotion to color their tone.

Tauriel frowns. So Thranduil _is_ with King Thorin. Had the Dwarf done something to betray her King? She's considering whether she should knock on the door and ask if Thranduil has need of her, when his voice booms out again.

_"Do not make me laugh, Thorin Oakenshield!"_

A few seconds go by, and then the sound of both kings chuckling can be heard.

_"Stop it! I hate you! You told the Hobbits that infernal nickname, that you insist on calling me."_

_"I am sorry, my love. I truly regret any perceived slights I have made against you."_

Tauriel swears she can hear a smile in the Dwarf's voice, despite his formal words.

_"Spare me your falsities!"_ Thranduil sniffs. _"Next time I see your nephews, I'll simply have to tell them where you hide whenever you know they're searching for someone to play their pranks on."_

Thorin gasps. _"You wouldn't!"_

Tauriel shakes her head, and walks away as they continue to bicker. Thank Eru, she doesn't have to tell Kili that his uncle was imprisoned for treason against the king.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully I did ok with the dialogue on this one. It's not perfect, but I think some of it is pretty good.


	13. Confused-Bifur/Ori

Ori wakes slowly at first, idly wondering what woke him in that liminal space between waking and sleep. He's about to roll over and go back to sleep, when he hears it again. 

This time he recognizes a low muttering in Khuzdul, and Ori sits up in his bedroll. He glances over at Bifur, and his heart sinks when he sees his beloved in the throes of a nightmare. He should have insisted they sleep beside each other, consequences of his brother's finding out about their relationship, be damned. He should have known that being out in the wild like this would bring back old memories, and the night terrors along with them.

He's about to get up to go comfort Bifur, when he suddenly locks eyes with Nori. Ori freezes, body propped up on one elbow. 

Nori watches him for a moment, before making the iglishmêk sign for 'secret', and then gesturing between Bifur and Ori.

Ori shoots him a relieved smile and Nori winks in response, before rolling over in his bedroll so he's facing the opposite direction.

Ori quietly makes his way across the camp of sleeping dwarves, and kneels down at Bifur's side. "Bifur" he gently shakes the older dwarf's shoulder. "Sweetheart,  wake up."

Bifur's eyes snap open. The older dwarf sits up quickly and looks around wildly for a moment, before his eyes settle on Ori. 

Ori smiles in a way he hopes in comforting. "It's alright, love. You're ok. Do you remember where we are?" Bifur nods, and Ori feel a little of the tension leave him. That was good, it meant this wasn't one of the worse kind. They didn't happen very often anymore, but some nights Bifur would wake from a nightmare with no idea where he was or what was happening. No matter his confusion during those times though, he never forgot who Ori was.

"Is it ok if I touch you?" Ori always makes sure to ask first. Sometimes Bifur wakes up in such a panic, it take him awhile to process touch as anything but threatening.

Bifur nods again, and Ori reaches over and gently brushes his hair back out of his face.

"I'm going to have to re-braid your hair soon." Ori smiles fondly. Bifur had a habit of tossing and turning at night, turning his hair into a tangled mess from rubbing against his bedroll. At first Ori had been worried, but Bifur assured him it was just how he always was and not a sign of troubled sleep.

Bifur smiled back. "I'm ok, ibin abnâmul. I'm sorry to have woken you. You should go back to sleep, it will be morning soon."

Ori bites his lip and hesitates for a moment, before he makes up his mind. He's sick of having to sneak around to keep their relationship secret, and his one needs him. Dori will either accept it, or he wont-simple as that. Mind made up, he goes and gathers up his bedroll, before placing it down besides Bifur's.

Bifur looks at him curiously- and oh it's so adorable when he cocks his head to the side like that, Ori has to smile.

Ori shrugs, before crawling under his furs, and snuggles up beside Bifur. "I love you."

Bifur smiles softly, and adjusts the covers, so they're fully over the both of them. He draws Ori closer to him, and wraps an arm around his waist. "Sleep well, Mizimith."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bifur/Ori is so pure, come cry about it with me.
> 
> ibin abnâmul-Beautiful Gem
> 
> mizimith- Jewel that is young


	14. Affection-Gandalf/Radagast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how good this one is, but it's much better after I just edited it. I love these two. I have Gandalf's response to Bilbo where he says "I think he is a great wizard" running through my head.

Two wizards stroll through the woods, accompanied by an easy silence. One only obtained by years of companionship.

Gandalf looks around and wonders not for the first time, why Radagast picked these woods over all others to call home. He can't deny thought, that the forest certainly seems to suit him. A blissful calm seems to encapsulate the very forest, no doubt influenced by the Brown Wizard's presence. One can feel it within the very trees and the soil.

Gandalf startles out of his musings when Radagast suddenly makes a surprised noise and darts off ahead. He watches in amusement, as the other wizard drops to his knees before a tall Oak tree as though he were still a young wizard. Wizard though they may be- that did not make their bodies wholly immune to the effects of time. 

Radagast scoops something up into his hands, and begin to coo at it softly. After a moment of soft murmuring to his handful, he stands up and turns to reveal the tiny creature nestled in his hands. He's found a baby red squirrel, and a very young one by the looks of it. 

"Isn't she darling? Poor thing must of fallen out of it's nest." Radagast tuts softly at the baby squirrel. "She's much too young to be venturing about on her own."

Gandalf can't help but smile at the adorable sight the pair make. A centuries old wizard- one far more powerful than people tend to realize- gently cradling the delicate creature. 

He nods down at the squirrel. "What do you intend to do with it, my friend?"

"Her nest must be close." Radagast gazes up into the tree that he found the baby under. The squirrel chitters softly, and Radagast moves her closer to his ear. "Oh, of course I will. Is this one yours, then?" Radagast nods in agreement. "And a fine tree it is. If I place you in the tree, will you be able to reach your nest again?"

Gandalf stands back, and wordlessly watches the exchange. He probably has a truly enamored look on his face, but that's alright. No one is around to see. 

He watches as Radagast places the baby squirrel onto the end of his staff, helping keep her balance until she can securely grip the twisted branches. 

Once she's steady, Radagast carefully raises the staff until the squirrel can hop off onto one of the high branches of the tree. She scurries up the tree, and Radagast calls after her. "Make sure you're more careful from now on!" He shakes his head fondly, and once again takes his place beside Gandalf.

"Shall we carry on? There's this beautiful stream-" A male Yellow Throated Sparrow suddenly appears, and he flits in a circle around Gandalf's head twice, before landing on Radagast's shoulder. "Egan? What's happened?"

Gandalf watches as the little bird lets out a high speed string of chirps, and Radagast's face morphs into one of delight. "Oh, what wonderful news! Congratulations!"

The Sparrow flies off as quickly as he appeared, and Radagast beams. "Egan and his mate Lavinia's, eggs just hatched." He grabs Gandalf's hand in his, and squeezes. "Oh, I must go congratulate them properly!" He looks down at the ground now talking to himself. "I'll have to prepare a seed cake for them, perhaps I can gather some meal worms..." 

Radagast starts walking forward again, muttering all the while about plans to celebrate. One hand carrying his staff, and the other still clasped in Gandalf's own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't remember how I picked the Sparrows' names. I was probably thinking about Egon from Ghostbusters, but I don't know about his mate.
> 
> Wan't me to write you a fic of a thousand words or less? I have a ko-fi where I am taking commissions! I'm trying to get a savings account going again. I had to get something repaired on my car, and it wiped out what I had saved up. If you're interested, then leave a comment and I'll tell you the guidelines of what I am willing to write.


	15. Joy-Bilbo/Nori

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jesus, apparently I really don't know how to write a scene with both Bilbo and Nori in it and both aware of the others presence. I wrote these over a pretty spread out period of time XD.

Nori basks in the sunlight. Most of the company was scattered around the field surrounding Beorn's home. Even Dwarves tend to enjoy a nice sunny day, especially since this was the first opportunity since the quest began, that they've had the chance to simply rest without a sense of urgency. 

He looks up as Beorn comes ambling out of the woods- thankfully as the man, not the bear. Beorn since he set out in his bear form early this morning, and had been gone for a few hours. Nori idly wonders what the skinchanger gets up to in his free time.

Nori watches the skinchanger's movements warily, keeping an eye on those of the  company who are within his eye sight.  With a special focus on his brothers, of course. There had been no sign that Beorn wished them harm, but Nori didn't survive this long without having learned to always be on guard. One of Beorn's sheep wanders past, and Nori shoos it away from casting a shadow over him.

Beorn makes his way over to where Master Baggins is seemingly inspecting a patch of flowers, and Nori watches carefully. He's become oddly protective of the Hobbit- much as he'd deny it to anyone who asked. It only made sense, Nori reasoned to himself. It was just a natural instinct of needing to watch over those that were young and innocent, likely left over from when his brother was a Dwarfling. Bilbo was certainly small enough to fit the part. Clearly, that was the reason Nori tensed as Beorn came to a stop in front of the Hobbit, ready to jump up and run to his aid if need-be.

Beorn says something that Nori can't quite make out, but it makes Bilbo flush in embarrassed indignation. Bilbo glares and says something in reply, stomping his foot seemingly in punctuation to whatever he said.

Nori does not smile at how adorable it is- no sir. Ask anyone, and they'll tell you that Nori doesn't smile at Hobbits. Just don't ask Dwalin. He's a dirty liar who lies. 

The pair exchange more words that Nori still can't hear, but whatever Beorn has to say, makes Bilbo's face suddenly light up.

Nori grumbles and subtly inches a little closer to the pair, pretending he's simply shifting to a more comfortable spot in the grass. Only to make sure nothing untoward is going on, of course.

Beorn chuckles. "Of course, Idrís loves to meet new people. Come with me." With this, the shapeshifter turns and starts walking towards a barn a ways across the field.

Nori silently follows, being sure to stay out of sight. When the pair enter through the barn doors, Nori silently slips in after them.

Beorn directs Bilbo towards a corner piled with hay and scraps of soft looking fabric, and Bilbo gasps. The Hobbit drops down onto his knees. "Hello, my lovely. How are you today?" He hold out his hand for the mother cat to inspect.

Nori creeps a little closer, sticking to the shadows, until he's close enough to see the cat that's curled up in it's makeshift nest.

At Bilbo's words, the hay starts rustling, revealing six tabby kittens. The Hobbit positively beams. 

Words like sunshine and effervescent flit around Nori's brain, and he curses himself for adopting Ori's flowery language.

Bilbo hesitantly reaches out towards one of the kittens, and when the cat gives no reaction other than lazily watching, he gently strokes it's back. "Beautiful. You should be a proud mama, your babies are so handsome." 

Nori swears the cat preens at Bilbo's words. He's never seen pride on a cat's face before, but he'd be damned if he said he wasn't seeing it now.

Bilbo looks up at Beorn and then quickly back down with a smile, when another of the kittens starts trying to climb onto his lap. "Do they have names?"

Beorn nods. "When I first found Idrís, she was hiding in an run down stable a few miles out from here. After she came to trust me, I brought her back here, and she spent nearly all her time out in my herb garden. It's still her favorite spot, so I decided to give them fitting names." Beorn points to each kitten as he lists their names. "That is Basil, Lavender, Nutmeg, Rue, Woodruff, and Anise."

Bilbo scratches one of the mother cat's ears. "What lovely names."

"It's time for me to feed the horses. You're welcome to stay in here as long as you like." 

Bilbo thanks him, and Beorn leaves the barn.

One of the kittens comes up and paws at Bilbo until he picks it up, and Bilbo laughs when it leans right into his face and licks his nose.

Nori sighs, and scrubs a hand over his face. He's so far gone for the Hobbit, it's not even funny.

Ok. Maybe this time, Nori is smiling.  
  



	16. Horror-Background Dwalin/Thorin

Ori kicks the door shut, and shrugs off his coat. "I'm back from the store."

Fili turns his head to look behind him from the couch. "Hey Ori. We're having a bit of a crisis here."

"Who's we?" Ori walks around to the other side of the couch, and then blinks in surprise when he notices Kili lying across the couch with his head in his boyfriend's lap. "Oh, hi Kili. I didn't realize you were there."

Kili groans. "The horror."

Ori looks back up at Fili raises an eyebrow. "Is this a legitimate crisis, or a Kili crisis?"

"My eyes... They have witnessed that which was never meant to be seen" Kili moans.

Fili snorts. "He accidentally walked in on Thorin and Dwalin."

Kili shudders, and shuts his eyes tight. "The horror..."


	17. Acceptance-Legimli

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to post this chapter last night, but my wifi was being difficult. So I watched the adventures of tintin for the first time, instead. The lines in bold are text messages.

Gimli is laying on his stomach on his bed, head resting on his hand, when his phone buzzes.

**Legolas: Hey, are you home?**

**Gimli: Yeah, finishing my paper for Mr. Peredhel**  
**Gimli: Why?**

**Legolas: My dad and I got into a fight.**

**Gimli: Are you ok? Do you want me to meet you somewhere?**

Gimli looks at the clock. Nine thirty. His dad wouldn't like him going out this late on a school night, but he would understand if Gimli said it was an emergency. Hopefully.

 **Legolas: No, I'm ok. Can I come over?**  
**Legolas: Would your dad be mad?**

**Gimli: No. He'll be fine. Tell me when you get here, and I'll let you in.**

**Legolas: Ok. I'll be there in a little bit.**

 Gimli sighs. Now to hope he wasn't lying about his dad not freaking out.

\-------------

About ten minutes go by, before Gimli's phone dings loudly. He'd turned the volume on loud after he got done texting Legolas, to be sure he wouldn't miss any messages.

**Legolas: I'm almost there.**

A couple moments go by.

**Legolas: To your house**

Gimli snorts. Dork.

He's sure to be extra quiet on his way down the stairs, on the off chance his dad is asleep already.

His hopes are dashed however, when he hears a deep laugh come from the living room.

Gloin looks up when Gimli steps into the room, and mutes the tv. He smiles. "Gimli, lad! Homework finished?"

"Yup. All done." He hesitates for a moment. "Dad?"

Gloin looks at him curiously. "Yes, son?"

"You remember Legolas, right??"

"Greenleaf's son? What about him?" A look of derision passes over Gloin's face, at the thought of Thranduil.

Gimli bites his lip, and for a moment seriously considers the pros and cons of just having Legolas come round the back door, and sneaking him into the house. But no, he can't do that. He takes a breath. _"He and his dad got into a fight and he needs to get out of the house for a bit, so I told him he could come over here"_ he rushes to get the words out as quickly as possible.

Gloin frowns, and Gimli can tell he's taking a moment to comprehend the fast jumble of vowels and consonants that were just thrown at him. Gimli holds his breath.

His dad shoots him a look of suspicion. "You promise all your homework is done?"

Gimli nods.

Gloin's expression smooths back out again, and he shrugs. "Alright. No staying up until all hours of the night, you do have school tomorrow."

Gimli gapes. "That's it? You hate his dad!"

Suddenly there's a knock on the front door, halting whatever Gloin was about to say. He looks at Gimli, and motions towards the door. "Well, let him in. Poor lad's standing out there in the cold."

Spurred on by his dad's words, Gimli rushes to the front door and unlocks it, before quickly swinging it open.

Legolas looks a bit uneasy, but the smile he offers Gimli is genuine.

His heart clenches at the sight of his friend's red rimmed eyes, and he ushers him into the house.

Legolas hesitates at the sight of Gloin sitting on the couch, but only for a moment. "Good evening, Mr. Durinson. I'm sorry for the intrusion at such a late hour."

Gimli has to hold back a smile. Legolas always instinctively falls back on his manners, when he's nervous. Apparently a good part of his childhood was filled with manners and etiquette classes.

Gloin shakes his head. "Don't worry, lad. A friend of Gimli's is welcome any time. Why don't you go head upstairs and get settled, and Gimli will be up in a minute. We were just finishing a conversation about his schoolwork."

Legolas looks at Gimli for a moment, unsure, but goes when Gimli smiles reassuringly.

Both Durins watch him leave, then Gimli turns back to look at his dad questioningly.

Gloin sighs. "Lad. Just because I don't particularly like Thranduil Greenleaf" Gimli snorts at _that_ understatement, and Gloin gives him an amused look. "Doesn't mean that I have any ill will towards his son. If any of your friends ever need anything, I'll never turn them away because of my own problems. Ok?"

Gimli nods wordlessly, touched far beyond what he's capable of expressing.

Gloin smiles. "Alright. Go make sure your friend is alright, and tell him he's welcome to stay as long as he needs."

Gimli thanks him, and runs up the stairs after Legolas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gloin is a good dad. What do you think that Legolas and his dad's fight was about? I didn't have any specific idea in mind while writing this.
> 
> This one is 750 words, how exciting. :)


	18. Sympathy-Fili/Ori

Ori looks up when he hears the front door unlock, and a moment later Fili walks into the apartment.

"What do you write in a sympathy card for a plant?" Ori says in greeting.

Fili blinks. "I'm so sorry... who suffered the loss?"

Ori snorts. "Professor Elrond's spider plant recently died out of nowhere. That thing was going on thirty years strong now, and there's been talk of foul play."

Fili makes a sympathetic face. "Man, that kinda sucks. It's pretty impressive that he kept it alive for so long."

Ori shrugs. "I'm pretty sure Lindir is more broken up about it than Elrond is. He's the one who had taken on the responsibility of watering it. Someone started up a sympathy card that we're all supposed to sign, and now it's my turn."

"I've never written a sympathy card before. I received one once, though."

Ori looks up. "Really?"

"Yeah" Fili nods. "It was from Kili. He was offering me his condolences for my pride, after I crashed my bike into a tree and broke my wrist."

Ori side-eyes his boyfriend. "When was this? Am I about to find out that this happened like two years ago, right before I met you?"

Fili snorts. "I was twelve."

Ori grins. "Whatever you say. Now come help me think of a plant pun."


	19. Chapter 19

They trudge on through the forest. Bilbo had heard of Mirkwood before the quest of course, but he had never imagined it could be like this. The very air felt oppressive, something about the lands felt wrong in a way he has no idea how to begin to describe. Hobbits are very connected to the land, it's a very intrinsic part of their nature. More so than any other race, as far as he knows. Sure the elves possess a strong sort of kinship to the trees, but the very soil beneath Bilbo's feet feels tainted. 

Bilbo is startled out of his thoughts, when he feels the dwarf beside him clasp their hands together, interlacing their fingers. He looks up, and it takes the hobbit a split second longer than it should to recognize Bifur walking beside him.

Bilbo squeezes Bifur's hand a little, and he feels a warmth fill his chest when Bifur smiles down at him.


	20. Defeat-Bilbo&The Company

It's early evening, when they stop to set up camp for the night. Usually they would keep walking for awhile yet, but Thorin had been persuaded to stop early at the benefit of taking a break from the terrible mud they'd been trekking through. They had managed to find a defendable spot that was slightly less muddy than everywhere else, and had promptly set up shop. 

Kili was currently prowling around camp looking for mischief to get into. Most of the dwarves were well familiar with the signs, and knew to make themselves look boring or otherwise unapproachable. Bilbo unfortunately, was not so lucky.

"Bilbo!" Kili yells from across the camp. A few of the dwarves glance over in sympathy, but they make no move to save him.

Bilbo sighs, and carefully sets down the flowers he had been idly twisting into a crown. "Yes Kili?" He jumps in surprise when Kili drops down onto the ground beside him.

The dwarf grabs Bilbo's arm and squeezes his bicep. "Lets put these Hobbit arms to the test." Heedless of Bilbo's protests, Kili jumps up while keeping hold of Bilbo's wrist and starts dragging him towards the nearest good sized rock- conveniently located in the center of camp.

Kili drops down onto his knees, and rests his elbow on the rock. He grins at Bilbo. "Come on, get down here."

He grimaces. "I'd rather not, thank you. I was perfectly fine with what I was doing."

Kili scoffs. "Playing with some useless flowers? This is much more productive."

Bilbo grumbles. See if he ever makes Kili a flower crown now. He's well known for his weaving skills, thank you very much. "You won't leave me alone until I give in, will you?"

Kili grins. "No I will not."

Sighing in resignation, Bilbo kneels down and places his own arm into position. He looks at Kili and hesitates. "What if I hurt you? I'm pretty strong."

Kili barks out a disbelieving laugh, and Bilbo can hear a few snickers from the other dwarves who by now have taken notice and are watching the situation unfold. "Maybe you're strong for a hobbit, but there's no way you could hurt a dwarf."

Bilbo feels a shock of annoyance rush through him, and he mentally shrugs. At least no one can say Bilbo didn't warn him. He clasps Kili's hand in his own and looks at him challengingly. "Start on three?"

"Sure, and don't worry. I'll go easy on you." He winks.

Bilbo smiles sharply. "That's too bad for you."

He hears a few hoots in response from the audience that has formed around them.

Kili counts them down from three, and then lightly starts pushing against the hobbit's hand.

Bilbo feels the increase in pressure as Kili starts slowly using a little more of his strength, most likely trying to be careful. He looks at Kili expectantly, arm unwavering.

Kili looks a little surprised, and starts using a bit more force.

Keeping their eyes locked, Bilbo waits a few moments before slowly upping the amount of strength behind his grasp.

Kili's arm begins to inch backwards, and a shocked look appears on his face.

Bilbo gives him about fifteen seconds of trying and failing to regain the ground he's lost, before slamming his arm down onto the rock.

Kili looks between Bilbo and his arm in shock as laughter surrounds them.

"What- How?"

Dwalin hauls himself up from where he had been polishing Grasper and Keeper, and approaches the pair.

"Lad, you've really let yourself go, if a Hobbit is able to beat you at arm wrestling." He nudges Kili out of the way, sending him off to sit beside brother while rubbing his wrist with a baffled look on his face.  
Dwalin takes his place, and reaches for Bilbo's hand. "You won't beat me as easily as the little prince. Very few dwarves have bested me in arm wrestling, since I was a dwarfling."

Bilbo sighs. "If I do this, then will the rest of you lot leave me alone? I was in the middle of something when I was rudely interrupted."

Dwalin snickers. "You're welcome to go back to your weeds right now, if you admit you could never hope to beat me."

Bilbo narrows his eyes. He's beginning to see a bit of a pattern. Never one to let such a goading remark stand, Bilbo grabs the warrior's hand. 

Dwalin wastes no time on a countdown, no doubt planning to swiftly pin Bilbo's arm to the rock.

He clearly doesn't expect the resistance he's met with, as his arm barely moves an inch. Bilbo raises one eyebrow, and then slams the dwarfs hand down beneath his own. 

What follows is about five seconds of shocked silence, and then the camp erupts into chaos.

Bilbo looks on in mild amusement, and then groans when one voice rings out above the rest.

"Try Dori now! You couldn't possibly beat him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we are, 20 oneshots. I'm not very strong at writing action sequences. Hopefully this reads ok!


End file.
